There are some missed numbers in this sequence and it is simply because I have listed them as private.   Eventually it will all come out but I needed just to work through some Father – Daughter grief work on my own.

I arrived back in New Zealand yesterday and spent the day unpacking.  Touching my things.  Putting away into drawers and decluttering my space.  It felt beautiful.  The best sleep ever.   Hugged the rabbit, made a smoothie from the lush garden that awaited me from Craig’s loving care while I was gone.  Snuggled Craig and cuddled my beautiful Wills.  Wills had stayed up late to make me Dahl.  What a good kid. I mean really.

Had intended to paint but I wasn’t ready yet.  I just needed to be.

It was good.  Had the best meditation ever.    I had been doing meditations with David and Maria my lounge Yoda and Buddah while I was staying with my dad in his senior apartment.

 My mind was all over the place and I never really reached “the quite place in between”.  I had heard about primordial sound meditation through Deepak Chopra’s teachings.  But in order to find your sound you need to go to a retreat or hire someone to show you how it is done.   Over 2k plus a trip to California…yeah not in the cards.  But there is always the internet.  I found this link which showed me how to determine my primordial sound.    You can too just follow this link   This sound is what sound the universe was making when you were born.   Woo woo…certainly.  But it worked.  I felt so blissed out after doing it.   So needed that.

I suppose that is the thing I am learning most from this adventure.   Stay curious.  Experiment.  Play.  See what works for you.  Be open and non judgmental.

Primordial sound worked for me.

Then I did something that was beautiful as well.

The Body Positive Chakra Massage

A whole new way to love my body.  I took the mantras for the chakras and I combined them with a dry massage.

So on my legs and bum I listened to meditation music on my headphones and then hummed the mantra “Lam” while I rubbed my legs.  I thanked them for all of the excellent service they had given me and I released the no longer needed cells from continued service.  I imagined  my body healthy fit, vibrant, balanced.

Then I moved to my sacrum and on each out breath I hummed “Vam”  While I rubbed my ample flesh and thanked it for all of its protection and brilliant service keeping me from starving but I released it back to the world that it came from.  Released it from the obligation to protect and surround me.   I explained that I was strong and supported and timeless and I actually didn’t need the extra support.  So I gratefully released it.

This continued up my body.   Thanking and releasing that which was no longer needed.

Ram – Solar Plexus

Yam – Heart

Ham – Throat

Aum- Third Eye (forehead)

Om- Crown

I was buzzing by the end and it took me about 15 minutes.  I think I will make this my before bed routine.   What a gorgeous way to end the day.