I didn’t take the traditional counselling route because, for me, talk therapy often kept me stuck in the same old story loops. Instead of healing, it reinforced the patterns.  Several different counsellors, same impact.  

So for the past eight years, I’ve been on a deep dive to find what truly works—for myself and for the young people I work with. I began as a trained youth worker, then studied somatic therapy (body-based healing), trained in Nonviolent Communication (still on that journey), and became an Ecotherapist. Through it all, my creative practice has been my compass and co-pilot.

Each layer brought me closer to my centre. And with every step, I peeled off limiting beliefs—some formed before I even had language. Old survival patterns were held in my body and subconscious like echoes from the past. It wasn’t until I worked through the body—especially with nature and the nervous system—that real, lasting shifts began.

My somatic training had roots in Hakomi Therapy, which was new to me at the time. It also introduced me to “parts work”—think of it as getting to know all the voices in your head. When I wanted to go deeper into this work, I had two paths: Internal Family Systems (IFS) or Hakomi.

Hakomi drew me in. It felt broader, deeper, and more soul-honouring. Plus, it’s taught in person here in Aotearoa—hallelujah, no more Zoom-induced existential crises. Since beginning the training, it has cracked me open in the best possible way. I’ve experienced profound personal transformation. The heavy armour I’ve carried—protective weight I’ve worn for decades—is slowly melting away.

Here’s why that matters:
When we’re young and something hard or traumatic happens, we create protective parts to keep us safe. Maybe we learned to go quiet, or lash out, or work tirelessly to earn love. These parts did the best they could with what they had. But they don’t always grow up with us. Their messages—“You must earn love,” “People aren’t safe,” “It’s all on you”—become invisible scripts we live by. They can distort everything: our relationships, our bodies, our self-worth.

For years, I felt like I was captaining a Viking ship full of unruly paddlers—each one a protective part formed at different points of trauma. The noise inside my head was exhausting. But now? One by one, I’ve gotten to know those parts. I’ve let them know I’m not 5 or 10 anymore—I’m 52, and I’ve got a pretty decent life. Most days, we row together now. Not perfectly, but with far more grace.

Parts work has been fundamental in shifting not only my mental health but also my weight.  But that is a story for another blog. 

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Wellington NZ-based mental health support, Wellington Therapist, Wellington holistic therapy, Mind Body Spirit,